Hard Times
by PrincessSparkles CaptainOats
Summary: HUGE APOLOGY! IMPORTANT!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from A Walk to Remember. I just love them all very much.

**A/N- This fic is in reference to the book, for those who have seen the movie and read the book know that they are completely opposite. For those who only saw the movie need to know this, the book took place in the 50's or some time like that, it was a good Christmas play that Jamie's father wrote not a Spring play, Landon's friends were never that mean to Jamie they just didn't hangout with her, Landon never dated one of his friends, Landon was the president of the Student Council, his parent's weren't divorced and he had no relationship with either parent, Jamie's father was really old, like in his eighties, Jamie gave Landon her mother's Bible and never had a book of quotes and Bible verses, and Landon was in the Theatre class because it would be a good sleeping class, he never got into serious trouble. I do love the movie, but I like the book much more. I would also like to dedicate this story to some of my best friends: psalm57, Roxanne Barnett, Bekkah (sorry, I don't know your fanfic name, but you haven't read the book or seen the movie so you shouldn't be reading this anyways), and svfanforlife. You guys are awesome and I love you all. But if the story sucks you can all pretend you don't know me and I'm some weird stalker. Please Enjoy!  
**  
"Landon, I love you," Jamie said looking deeply into Landon's eyes. She could tell it was nearing her end and she didn't want to leave anything unsaid. Landon held her hand as she lay on the hospital bed with tubes in her nose and arms. Silent tears fell down his cheek and he didn't bother to push them away. "Always remember that."  
Landon squeezed her hand tighter and watched her. "I love you, too. I'll never forget," Land leaned over Jamie and then kissed her head. How would he go on without her? "You don't have to leave yet. Keep fighting. I know you can do it."  
Jamie smiled and squeezed his hand more. "I'm ready to go Landon. It's time for me to see my mother and be with Christ. Don't be afraid of change, just let it come."  
Landon laid his head on her stomach and listened to the sounds her insides made. They were comforting, when they stopped was when Landon would be frightened. "I'll love you forever."  
Jamie was awake long enough to just hear that. Then she smiled, slowly closed her eyes, and made her journey to a better place.  
  
The week went by as a blur to Landon. He couldn't remember crying at the funeral, because it hadn't sunk in yet. All he knew was that one morning he woke up gasping for air. He knew at that moment that he wouldn't see her again. She was gone and he would never hold her again, talk to her again, or even hold her hand. It was then that the tears came. They fell to quickly for him to handle. He couldn't feel his body, he didn't want to, because Jamie couldn't. Landon cried harder than he could have ever imagined, and when he had finally calmed himself two hours had passed and it was time for him to get to school. He had gotten into Med. School like he had wanted and was now working on a term paper on Leukemia. His professor had really helped him with his paper, pointing out options that he could do to elongate a person with the cancer's life, even if only for a month or two. Landon had always appreciated the support given to him from all of his teachers, who had found out about his wife and her illness when Landon introduced Jamie to them. They hated that such wonderful people had such a burden on their shoulders. Landon packed his bag full of books and left to get into the car his parents had given to him on his wedding day. He looked around the car and saw traces of Jamie, her purse, her tissues, and when he turned on the radio it was on the Christian music station that she enjoyed so much. Landon laughed as he read a note that she had written him, saying that she loved him and that she would need him to pick her up from the library. Landon put the note into the glove compartment so he couldn't see it anymore. He pulled out of the driveway and drove to his college. They lived in a small cozy house an hour away from the school, so they could have their privacy. They still were in North Carolina, but they had moved away from their hometown so they could get away from the talk.  
Landon quietly let more tears fall as he thought about a time that he and Jamie had ridden in that car. It was their one-year wedding anniversary, and Jamie was five months pregnant. Landon had always felt guilty for getting Jamie pregnant, he knew it was dangerous, but he wanted her to be with him when she was gone and a baby was a way to remind him of her. They had named their daughter Elisha. Elisha had stayed with his parents while Jamie was in the hospital and they had offered to keep her for a while after the funeral so Landon could adjust. The fact was Landon really wanted his daughter then. He missed her so much and he couldn't stand not having her there. Before he knew it, Landon was parked in his normal spot at the college. He could see all of his friends and teachers, they were happy and laughing; something that seemed so foreign to him at that moment. Landon grabbed his books and placed his hand on the door, slowly wiping the fresh tears from his face. Then stepped out and began his day.  
  
"Mr. Carter, can I speak to you a moment?" Mr. McCoy said as the rest of his class headed out of the door.  
Landon heaved a heavy sigh and went to his professor's desk. "Yes, sir?"  
Mr. McCoy looked at him for a while and started to clean his glasses with his shirt. Then slowly placed them back on his head and looked back to the young broken boy. "Mr. Carter, my wife wants you to stop by our house, she has made a delicious apple pie and some fried chicken for you and your daughter. When do you think would be a good time for you to stop by?"  
Landon sighed. It was a huge tradition in the south to feed a family who had lost some one so they wouldn't have to worry about cooking. Mostly fried chicken was given and occasionally a few deserts, but mostly they would give you your weight in chicken. "I'm sorry, sir. Not to be disrespectful, but I don't want your pity chicken. I have enough."  
With that Landon left the old man and ran to his car. He was going to be able to pick up Elisha today and he couldn't wait. His daughter was his pride and joy, he loved to hold her and just hug her. Landon found himself speeding towards his parent's home and then quickly retreated and went the speed limit, only to find himself getting faster and faster. He pulled into his parent's driveway and walked calmly to the door. He could hear Elisha laughing inside and it made his heart ache; it was Jamie's laugh. He heard footsteps and the doorknob turned revealing his mother.  
"Hi, Landon. Come on in," She opened the door wider and Landon walked in. "I was just done feeding Elisha, if you want I can get you something."  
"As long as it's not fried chicken," Landon said picking his daughter up from her bassinet that was resting in the kitchen. He gently patted Elisha's back as she quietly made her gurgling baby noises. Landon smiled at kissed his daughter's head gently. He had missed her so much. He remembered the day God had given her to him. He had been so nervous he could hardly stand still. But for some reason when the doctor put her in his arms his nerves settled and he felt he had known the angel in his arms all of his life instead of the few seconds that was reality. He remembered Jamie smiling at him and watching her creation resting in his arms. Landon walked over to his tired wife's side and leaned over for her to see Elisha. Jamie played with her feet and held her hand, but was too weak to hold the precious girl in her arms. Landon blinked the tears from his eyes and looked at his watch. He gave his mother a fake excuse for not being able to stay for supper and collected Elisha's things as quickly as he could with his mother's help.  
"I'm sorry you can't stay. Do you want me to pack some of the supper so you can have it when you get home?" Landon's mother said as they placed Elisha's car seat in its position in the back seat.  
"I'm fine mom. I love you, tell Dad I said the same," with that Landon kissed his mother's cheek and drove out of the drive way towards his home.  
  
**A/N- What do you think? If you don't like then I understand and I won't write anymore, but please like it! Hey, I have a crazy idea, now that you're done reading, you should go give it a review so I know how you feel, because my mind powers are not fully developed yet. **


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any A Walk to Remember characters. I just love them very much. A/N- I am going to make it a habit to dedicate each chapter to a certain person who has been an influence on me. It is really hard to choose, but if your not chosen first, then I want you to know that your turn will come, and because your not first doesn't mean your any less special than the one who is. Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to my fanfic friend svfanforlife, aka Claire. You guys this is such an amazing writer. When you read her work you can tell that she is extremely passionate about what is being read and it makes you enjoy it even further. Claire, you are an amazing person and I want you to know that I love you very much and I sincerely missed you when you left this past month. Not only are you are wonderful writer, but you are a wonderful person. Y'all, this girl is in the 7th grade and she is a better writer than I will ever be. So Claire, this is for you, so you better be reading.  
  
Landon awoke to the sounds of his daughter's voice whispering silently into his ear.  
"Daddy, can I sleep with you?" the little girl said with her big eyes looking deeply into Landon's.  
"Elisha, it is five in the morning. We should just go ahead and get up," Landon said in an annoyed voice but laughing none the less. It was the third time that week Elisha had woken up so early.  
"But Daddy, I'm still tired," she said starting to jump up and down making the table next to her father's bed shake.  
"Fine, go to sleep. I just need to get up," Landon said pulling back the covers, but the girl heisted and he raised his eyebrows to her. "What's wrong?"  
"I want you to be with me. I'm scared," she said as her lower lip quivered.  
"What are you afraid of?" Landon asked sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He leaned over, turned the lamp on his bed table on, and squinted as his eyes tried to get used to the light.  
"There's a woman in there," she said looking as if she were trying to convince her father of her tale.  
"What did the woman look like?" Landon said skeptically.  
"She's tall and has blonde hair. She was smiling at me, like she knew me," Elisha said scooting in close to her father for protection. "She didn't seem mean though, she was just creepy."  
Landon listened to the description of the eerie woman and immediately thought of Jamie. Landon's thoughts swam as he thought of the wife that had died four years before. "Here, go back to sleep, baby. I'll stay here," Landon said pulling his covers back to let Elisha next to him.  
Landon turned the lamp back off and laid his head back down on the pillow that was now consumed with Elisha's hair, making it hard for him to find a comfortable place to lay his head. It didn't matter though; Landon was much too awake now to sleep. He felt the little girls body squirm as she tried to find a comfortable place. She finally became satisfied snuggling close to her father and she closed her eyes and slipped away into another world. Landon lay there for a while until he knew that his daughter would not wake and then he went to the kitchen to have his morning cup of coffee. He slowly rubbed his eyes and he stared blankly into his cup, as if waiting for it to give him an answer or a way to guide himself through everything that had been going on recently. Landon openly admitted it he still missed Jamie. After four years of being away from her he still felt the same way whenever he saw a picture of her, or talked about her, or when he remembered some of their happy times. He especially remembered her when he went to see her father's play every Christmas. He could still see her when she stepped out from the curtain for the first time and he saw how beautiful she really was.  
Landon was surprised when he heard the young child's story, but Landon had to keep telling him it was a dream, just a child's mind playing tricks on them. He still had pictures of Jamie out so that Elisha could see them. He didn't want Elisha wondering what had happened to her mother, so he was very open and told her everything that she wanted to know, but he never brought Jamie up himself. He waited for others to talk about her before he said anything. Finally Landon lifted himself from the table and went to get ready for school.  
  
Samantha sat in her new classroom nervously. She had recently transferred colleges when her engagement had fallen apart and she moved away from the memory. She quickly rapped her pen on her desk and she stared at the people entering the room. She noted that most of them were good ol' southern boys, and not very many southern girls. She exhaled quickly and cursed herself for even trying a new college. She was never going to be able to catch up, but she just needed a new start. She couldn't stand the way her family talked about as if she weren't there. She cursed Matt too. Just saying his name in her head made her infuriated and her pen tapping got faster. Finally she calmed herself and set the pen down. She looked more and more around the room and noticed that the only female in the room was she. This made her even more nervous than she had been when she walked into the room. Samantha grabbed a lock of her dirty blonde hair and started to twist it in her fingers. She watched the door, hoping that at any moment a woman would walk in, but she was never so lucky. When the professor finally walked into the room, one more man walked into the room, rushed up the steps of the room, and sat next to Samantha.  
"Mr. Carter, do you think you could be just a little more on time?" the old man said with his back to the class as he wrote on the board.  
"Yes, sir," the man said putting his books on his desk. He finally seemed to notice Samantha sitting next to him and he put the first smile on his face that she had seen from him. In a low voice he introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Landon."  
"Samantha, nice to meet you," she said smiling.  
Landon smiled and then went back to open his book. Samantha found herself giggling to herself when she thought about Landon's smile. She tried to compose herself, but it didn't work. Landon noticed her giggles and raised his eyebrow as he had with Elisha that morning.  
"Are you alright?" he said looking at her strangely.  
"Fine, I just...had a bad case of the giggles" Samantha said, finally sobering herself.  
Landon just smiled and went back to taking his notes. Samantha cursed herself for acting like such a fool. He probably thought she was some kind of idiot buffoon now. But why did she care? It wasn't like she would ever speak to him again. Samantha buried herself in the work that the professor was giving them, which gave her little chance to think about what had recently happened.  
  
A/N- Please don't hate me. I am not replacing Jamie, I promise. You have to just keep reading so you know what's going to happen. I promise, I will not ruin the Jamie/Landon, you just have to keep reading. I would hate me if I did that. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the A Walk to Remember characters. I just love them very dearly.

A/N- I realized that I made a mistake in the big A/N in the first chapter. Landon wasn't close to his father, who was a congressman but was close his mother. Sorry, now you can un-bite your nails.

Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to another fanfic friend. Her name is psalm57, aka Claire. Yes those who read the first dedication see that I know two Claires, and yes it does get confusing. Claire, you are an amazing person. You have been an inspiration to me. Your faith and your confidence make me want to be a better person. Everyone, this girl is a tremendous writer. You all need to read her fanfic The Musician for Everwood, something I am totally addicted to right now. But Claire, your not only an amazing person and writer, you are a person I know I can turn to when I need you, and for that I say thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Now that all of my corniness is over, let's start the story.

Samantha walked back to her dorm that was right off the campus. She didn't have anyone from her school in there; they were all from the all-girls school across the road. Samantha opened her door and set her books down on the small table she had bought at a local antique shop. She walked slowly over to her couch that was just big enough for two people, but only held one person on most occasions. Samantha hadn't had any male visitors in so long. She would feel weird if one was even in her room to fix the plumbing. Samantha opened a book that she had been reading for the past week and jumped to the place she had left off the day before. As the words flowed through her head she lost herself in a world of fairies and princesses. When she finally looked up from the pages she saw that it was dark outside and hours had passed since she had first picked the book up. She finally tore herself from the book and began to start her homework.

This wasn't how her life had always been. She used to be social, the most popular girl at both her high school and her college. She went out with her friends and actually did things. But one day it just didn't do it for her anymore. It was probably after what her fiancé had done to her. But we won't get into that yet. For now, Samantha sits at her table and does her assigned work until the wee hours of the morning, before finally closing her eyes to rest, just to be woken up again in an hour.

While Samantha was in a battle between a fairy warriors and human soldiers Landon was getting home. He climbed out of the car just in time to be buried in the light colored hair of Elisha.

"Hey baby. How was your day?" Landon said after kissing the little girls cheek.

"It was okay. Granny made me clean my room when I got home from school though," Elisha said looking up at her daddy as they walked up the house she had grown up in.

"Well, you need to have a clean room. So, how was school?" Landon said picking the girl up off of her feet. "Did you learn anything interesting or new?"

"No, we just went over the alphabet again. Daddy, I think I need a new teacher. She doesn't realize that I know what she is teaching already," Elisha said resting her head on Landon's shoulder. Landon opened his screen door and stepped into the living room. He set Elisha down on the couch and then he sat next her as she climbed into his lap.

"Well, the other kids aren't as smart as you are. They need more time to understand things," Landon said resting his head on the little girl's head. Elisha had been blessed with Jamie's intelligence and Landon's...well she had been blessed not to have anything of Landon's, in his opinion.

"I know, but can't she give me extra work or something?" Elisha said in a whiney voice.

"I don't know baby. I'm going to find you Granny and say good-bye. You go do something useful," Landon said sitting up. Elisha ran up the stairs and started to read a chapter book Granny had picked up at the library for her.

Landon walked into the kitchen to find his mother cooking hastily. There were several pots on the stove that smelled like black-eyed peas, corn, and potatoes. He could also smell some magnificent pot roast. Landon couldn't help but smile at the way his momma sang loudly and closed her eyes when it became a dramatic part in the song. She leaned back to over dramatize the song, bounced around, and swayed her head at the chorus.

"Hey, momma!" He said, sneaking up behind her.

Landon's mother jumped into the air. "When did you get home?" she said her cheeks getting steadily pink. She placed her hand on her chest as if trying to steady her heart.

"Not too long ago. Early enough to get a good show though," Landon smiled and hugged his mother around the neck.

"You know I didn't raise you to be a smart a...aleck," she said hugging her son.

"Wow, I can't believe you almost cursed. I think I should record this somewhere. We should call the newspaper, think of it. 'Good ol' Southern Baptist Woman Almost said Ass.' That would really sell," Landon said raising an eyebrow.

The old woman hit Landon with her cooking glove and then went to finish cooking. Landon laughed and sat at the kitchen table and told his mother of his day and things that he had been thinking about. He had found that after he had met Jamie and lost her, he wanted to spend more time with his mother. They had grown closer to each other as Landon slowly recovered from Jamie. After supper was ready she left Landon and Elisha, as she had every day, and went back home to cook a meal for herself. Landon's father was away in Washington D.C. again, so she was alone, but she didn't mind. It was nice to not have to worry about others spying on you or anything like that.

After supper, Landon and Elisha watched a little television, Elisha read to Landon, Landon bathed Elisha, and then they both went to bed.

**A/N- Sorry, it was kind of a pointless chapter. I was just trying to show you how they acted on a normal basis, because soon it will change. I am still keeping my promise about not having Samantha and Landon getting together. Some of you might be thinking "Hey, why should I even read this? She gave away the ending." No I didn't. If you read the book, you'd have known that Landon never remarried. He clearly states that he never even took his ring off. But I bet you're curious how I'm going to put Samantha in there huh? I hope you are! Please be! I really appreciated all of the reviews that I got. I am getting really excited! I hope that everyone keeps reviewing. I love you all! Oh, and I will eventually read your stories, but I haven't had any time recently. I am struggling to get all of the chapters up quickly. So now that I'm done mumbling and talking, you might want to review, because that makes me happy. And a happy Bethany makes the story end the way you want it to.**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from A Walk to Remember; I just love them very dearly.

Dedication: This dedication goes to Roxanne Barnett. Roxie is one of my best friends at school and she is a really great writer. She is probably the most unique people that you will ever meet, but she isn't boring in no way shape or form. Roxie, I know that I can get aggravated at you and you with me, but I would never trade a single moment that I have spent getting to know you. I know at times you hated me, and I won't lie, I didn't like you much either, but you are truly a wonderful person when someone gets to know you.

Landon woke the same way he had the previous night. Elisha had seen the strange woman and was too scared to stay in her own room. Landon sat in the cold kitchen quietly sipping his hot coffee. He massaged his eyes to try and get the sleep out of them. Landon wanted nothing more than to climb back into his bed, but he knew if he lay back down, he would definitely never be able to awaken. So Landon stared around the kitchen that was steadily getting brighter as the sun came up. Finally he gathered the energy to stand and go take a shower. He stumbled into the tiny bathroom that rest in the hall of the small house. Without even thinking he retrieved Elisha's towel that had every Disney princess on it and set it on the toilet along with his clothes. He slipped the long flanel pants that he wore to bed off and stepped into his shower. He let the warm water cover him so he could fully wake. Then he quickly cleaned himself. He turned the warm water off and then reached out of the curtain and took the towel and wrapped it around his waist. He dressed and finished getting ready. When he looked at the clock he saw it was time to wake Elisha so she could go to school.

"Baby?" he said nudging her softly. "It's time to get up."

Elisha turned around and buried herself deeper into her covers, as if hiding from the loud voice that was pulling her from the place where she was a pink mermaid.

"I'm not kidding. It's time to get up," Landon said, now in a much harsher voice. He started to shake the girl a little more forcefully.

Elisha tried to run away from her father, but he kept a firm grip on her, but she still did not open her eyes.

"Elisha if you don't get out of the bed by the time I get to five I'm going to have to spank you," Landon said finally letting the girl go. "1...2...3..."

Elisha quickly kicked and pulled the covers from her, but quickly got stuck in them, to the point where she couldn't get out. Landon couldn't help but laugh and he helped the girl out and went to make her breakfast as she put on the clothes he had set out for her. Their morning routine went the same as it did every morning, breakfast, hair, and teeth. Elisha ran into the old car that had always rested outside of the house she had always been in and sat in the front seat, waiting for her father.

Landon placed his books in the back seat, put the car in gear, pulled out of the driveway, and drove to the elementary that Elisha attended.

Landon ran into his classroom and took his regular seat, next to the new girl and his friend, Eric Adams. Eric was tall and skinny boy, who was extremely confident about the who he was and what he was going to be. His red hair showed obvious signs of Irish heritage, as well as his temper did on a bad day. Landon had become instant friends with the man when Jamie had introduced them. Jamie had met him at the library, he was studying autism for a paper and Jamie invited him to dinner.

"Hey," Eric said as Landon pulled his book out.

"Hey," Landon said smiling at his friend.

"How's Elisha?"

"Fine, spoiled rotten, but she's fine," Landon said smiling.

"Yeah, it's all my fault. Last time she was at my house I bought her everything she asked for. Which reminds me, Elisha left her pony at my house, I was wondering if you could pick it up soon. She's eating all of my grass," Eric said smiling.

Landon laughed and then turned to the page in their book that the board instructed them to go to. Landon turned to the blonde girl on his right and smiled widely at her. "How has your morning been so far?"

Samantha smiled and turned to him, "It's been okay. How about yours?"

"Well, I was woken up at four this morning by my daughter, but other than that it was fine," Landon said. He had never been secretive about his daughter; he loved her more than he ever thought he could love someone. It wasn't the same kind of love as with Jamie, it was a fatherly love. One were he felt constantly worried that something could happen to her, but he never wanted her to be left out of anything.

"You have a daughter?" Samantha said with wide eyes. "Are you married?"

Landon's smile weakened a little when Jamie was mentioned. "I was. She was my high school sweetheart, if you could call it that, because she was so much more than that. She changed my life."

"Did you divorce?"

Landon laughed, he could have never imagined divorcing Jamie, and the thought baffled him. "No, she died."

Samantha got quiet and she looked at her pen for a while. "I'm so sorry. How long ago was this?"

"About four years ago. We married when I was still in high school. I would have never taken that back though. I would have married her in kindergarten if I had known what she meant to me," Landon said as his eyes started to tear up. He was saying this more to himself than he was to the girl, but he was still thankful for her listening.

"Wow, she must have been really special. How did she die?" Samantha was curious about the man with all the secrets. He seemed so normal and happy to have such a sad past.

"Leukemia," Landon got quiet as he thought of what took his only love.

Samantha got quiet too. She had heard of the disease and it's affects on people. She knew that it was terrible, and her heart went out to him. She shuddered to think of what he had been going through. "Would you want to get coffee later?"

"I'm sorry, I have to get home to my daughter after school, but thank you anyway," Landon said.

"Well bring your daughter along and we could go to the park or something. I'll bring my own coffee," Samantha said. She found the man extremely interesting and wanted to find out more about him.

Landon thought about it, and knew that Elisha would enjoy getting out of the house after being cooped up in it for so long. "Sure, how about around five o'clock?"

"Great!"

Landon quickly put Elisha into a jacket and tried to put her hair into a ponytail. He was running late, as he normally did since he had a child to worry about. Landon trued to ignore the shrieks that came from Elisha as he tightly wrapped her thick blonde hair into the small elastic band.

"Daddy!" she said loudly stomping her feet. "It's too hard!"

"It won't stay up if I don't do it this way," Landon said finally looping the hair one last time and then tightening the band even further.

Elisha held her head for a while and then tied her shoes, something she had recently learned to do at school. Landon grabbed the keys for the car off the wall and called for Elisha to follow him. Elisha did the final swoop and followed her father's lead by sitting on the front seat. Landon loved the fact that Elisha had potty trained so early. It gave him less to carry, worry about, and lose. Landon turned the car down David Circle, leaving Green Street and slowly inched toward the park. Elisha played with bits of the side of the door that were peeling off from old age and hard use, as Landon turned the radio up to hear the news. What he heard was shocking.

Landon's hand shook as he slowly placed it back on the wheel.

"Today, in Dallas, Texas, President Kennedy was shot. The public does not know his condition yet, but it isn't looking good. The assassin is believed to be a man by the name of Lee Harvey Oswald," the radio announcer said, his voice shaking as much as Landon's hand.

Landon slowly pulled the car over. Elisha looked up to see her father's face pale and pasty. "What's wrong Daddy?"

But Landon couldn't hear her. His mind was lost in the news. Landon couldn't sit for a while he waited for more news, but the announcer just repeated the same thing over and over. Landon finally remembered why he was on the road, and quickly went to go meet Samantha, all the time, Landon's mind thinking of the president.

Samantha sat on a bench in the empty park, waiting for Landon. She had yet to hear the devastating news, and she sat clueless waiting for him to arrive. She heard the approach of a vehicle and turned to find Landon pulling into a parking lot. A smile spread widely, but when she saw the man step out her smile slowly faded. Landon looked as if he had just seen a ghost. His eyes were blurred with tears and a look of confusion was seen across his face. She saw where tears had fallen that his body was shaking, making it hard for him to walk.

"Are you alright?" she said walking over to him, gently pressing her hand on his arm.

Landon shook his head. He didn't know what it was he felt, but he knew it wasn't "alright". Elisha had gotten herself out of the car and was now running through the playground sitting on an abandoned swing.

"What's wrong?"

"You haven't heard?" Landon held tightly to the bench and sat down before he fell to the ground. When Samantha shook her head, Landon told her what he heard on the radio.

Samantha placed her hand on her mouth as silent tears fell across his face. "Well, do they know if he's going to die or not? I mean he could make it."

Landon didn't know what to say, but more tears fell silently across his face. And so they sat in silence, as did the rest of America, waiting for the fate of the country to be told.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any A Walk to Remember characters; I just love them very dearly.

A/N-Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I just moved and I was having trouble getting back into the swing of things after I got my computer back up. But hey, I'm back! Yay!

Dedication: This chapter goes to Jen (Irish Dancing Girl). You are such a strong person; I truly envy your courage. I will not go into detail about why she is all of these things, but she knows why. You are such an amazing writer; I wait eagerly while I wait for your next chapter for Fighting Your Love to be updated. As I write this story and listen to my music (Mandy Moore's Cry), I will think of you and say silent prayers for you. I know I hardly know you, but you are...words are impossible to describe what an amazing person you are. So I will try, you are one of the few people on this world who doesn't ever deserve to have one thing go wrong in their life, even though those are the people that it happens to. Well, someday we'll know why He tests us, until then, you're in my prayers.

Landon and Samantha waited silently on the bench until they heard the radio announcer come back on the radio. They had sat there for what seemed like hours, and now it was to be said. The tone of the announcer's voice was a clear sign that the news he was to tell was not good.

"Today, on July 6th, 1963, President John Fitzgerald Kennedy, has passed," the radio announcer sounded as though he were trying to hold back tears.

Samantha gasped and covered her mouth, how could this happen to them? During all that was going on in their country, at a time like this, when they needed a leader the most, he was killed. Then she thought of his children, and his wife. What are they going through right now? How are they coping with the loss of their father or husband? Samantha's mind spun and she felt as if she were about to fall over and faint. She grabbed onto Landon's shoulder for support and he placed his hand over her hand. They sat in silence for a while, silent tears rolling down their cheeks.

This was a moment that neither Landon nor Samantha would ever forget, and the fact that they were together while it happened was something profound.

After going through something tragic with a certain person, it grows an automatic bond. The fact that the person was with you seems to have created this unspoken alliance, bonding you together for an eternity. That is what happened with Samantha and Landon. Instead of sitting and quietly smiling at each other, they were now constantly in a discussion about politics, or television, or really terrible professors. They became inseparable, they would talk on the phone when they weren't together and when they were together no other person could say anything to one of them. It wasn't romantic, it was just friendship, a deep friendship. One day, about two months after Kennedy was killed, Landon and Samantha were eating lunch together on a small bench on the campus grounds. They had started to talk about couples when they noticed a couple locking lips under a near by tree.

"I think it's disgusting when people kiss in public. They should have enough consideration for everyone else around them. We don't want to see their tongues," said Samantha bitterly.

"I disagree," Landon said smiling at the couple. "If they're in love, why can't they kiss? In public or private, it doesn't really matter. They're really in love. If my wife were alive, I would never let her go a day with out knowing how much I love her."

Samantha had gotten quiet. She had completely forgotten about his wife. She thought more about Landon's words; the less she found the couple gross.

"I hope you don't find this offensive or anything, but why do you hate seeing any kind of couple?" Landon asked.

Samantha acted offended first, as if he had no right to bring up such a topic. Then she thought of the way she always acted, and realized he was right. Tears started to form in her eyes as she realized the way she was. "I was engaged once. His name was Josh Smith. I had known him most of my life, we started fating in middle school and we kept dating in high school. Well, let's say I made some bad choices and when I was in the eleventh grade I became pregnant. But Josh was really supportive. He offered to marry me, and being in the emotional state I was in I accepted. We stayed engaged for a while, and then when I started to show my parents sent me away. I went to a terrible convent. It was dirty, they hardly fed me, and I was in a constant state of depression. Well, when I was seven months pregnant, I had a miscarriage. The nuns told me that it was because I had sinned so much; God decided I didn't deserve a baby. So I came back home, and Josh had gotten engaged to someone else. I finished high school and started to go to a college near home, but everyone at my high school knew what had happened, and so all the new people had found out what had happened to me. So I transferred here." Samantha finished her story with fresh tears in her eyes.

Landon was quiet for a while, watching the wind blow the treetops gently. "I'm so sorry. I could never imagine."

"Just don't mention it to anyone, okay," her tears were rolling down her face, she felt so ashamed. "I can't think of having to go through that again."


	6. Apology

Dear guy, I'm so sorry but my computer is COMPLETELY messed up. I won't be able to update until my dad gets it fixed. I just wrote this to tell you all and I hope y'all will hang on until it is fixed. SO SORRY!!!!!!!!


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